Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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