..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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