guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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