Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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