I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
