You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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