Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
should my penis look like a turkey
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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