i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
