Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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