girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
