my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
