11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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