yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
