The maid of honor just puked.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
