i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
