i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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