you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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