apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
