now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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