All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
