I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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