you would pick up someone in the library
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
