Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
