he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
