one two three fourrrrnication!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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