i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
