Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
