shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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