How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
