i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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