Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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