Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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