your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
