oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
