Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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