he told me I talked like a deaf person
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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