He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
