Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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