You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
