If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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