you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
