i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
