Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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