This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
