I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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