so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
