It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
