he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
