There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
