Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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