worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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