I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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